


Catch Me If You Can

by kugure



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Cop and Criminal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kugure/pseuds/kugure
Summary: He really, really shouldn’t be doing this.Because Stiles, was the most wanted thief and con artist that Derek supposed to catch.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my excuse to write porn.  
> Don't take anything in this too seriously. 
> 
> Happy Kinktober, everyone!

 

_ Derek wasn’t supposed to do this.  _

Because he was a damn cop. And right now, he was in the middle of a mission, to catch the famous thief and con artist that had been on CIA and FBI most wanted list for the past few months. Derek was assigned to this mission because he was the best detective in the organization. A good one with great record even. For the past seven years of his career, he never failed any missions. Always finished it fast and incredibly well. He was so damn effective. He should be professional. 

But it was so hard to be professional when  _ Stiles _ was pliant in his arms, his body pressed closed to Derek as he bared his neck so Derek could nibbled on the pale skin there, licked his pulses. 

“Derek, please,” Stiles moaned as he tugged Derek hair, nails scratching his scalp that made his whole body shuddered with  _ want _ . 

_ He really, really shouldn’t be doing this _ . 

Because  _ Stiles _ , was  _ the most wanted _ thief and con artist that Derek supposed to  _ catch.  _

Not to be devoured against the wall of Metropolitan Museum of Art when the Met Gala was happening around the corner. Not when Derek had already received a letter from Stiles that he was about to steal the Knotted Dragon Pendant from Eastern Zhou Dynasty. 

Stiles slid his hand under Derek’s shirt and flicked his nipple, made Derek moaned against Stiles’ neck. Derek took that as an invitation to do the same to Stiles, and the reaction he got was priceless. Stiles arched his body prettily, pressed his hard on against Derek’s and Derek had to suck a deep red mark on his collarbone. 

“You really love to leave some marks on me, huh?” Stiles whispered breathlessly, made Derek looked up and he caught the smirk on Stiles’ lips. 

The lips that were so red and a bit swollen because Derek had kissing it fiercely earlier.

Derek should stop right there. He should get back to his mission. He got Stiles, he should just handcuffed him and bring him in to the headquarter. Then he was done. His perfect record wouldn’t be tainted. 

But it was indeed so  _ hard _ to think logically when Stiles’ delicate fingers already sneaked into his pants and wrapped around his dick.

Stiles gave it an experimental stroke and Derek had to bury his face on the crook of Stiles’ neck because he was whimpering. 

“You really like it when I do that, don’t you,” Stiles asked as he bit his earlobe gently, and Derek could hear amusement in his voice. 

Derek should be ashamed of himself. 

Because he was a cop. 

And this wasn’t the first time he let himself got involved with Stiles. 

He didn’t know how it started to be honest. He just remembered that Stiles had been doing his criminal job for a few weeks, and earned himself millions dollars without getting caught. So Derek was assigned to catch him. 

And the first time Derek laid a hand on Stiles — fuck, Derek hadn’t figured out his real name until now. Well, the whole organization hadn’t even found out his last name yet — it turned into a make out session that turned into Derek buried balls deep inside Stiles, and then Stiles ended up handcuffing him to the nearest trellis. He was stuck there for an hour before his back up found him. It was so damn embarrassing. Good thing Stiles cleaned him up and tucked his dick in before he left. 

And it kept happening afterwards. With great orgasms but Derek always left unconscious or being stuck somewhere while Stiles left. 

So, Derek should’ve learned from the experience. 

But it was pretty difficult to consider that when Stiles’ thumb caressed his slit and then played with his balls. Derek could only bucked his hips against that sinful hand, wanting more. He got his hands tucked on Stiles’ pants as well, squeezed his perfect butt in an attempt to bring their bodies even closer. 

Stiles moaned prettily when Derek fingers slipped to his asshole, and he noticed that Stiles had been  _ prepared _ . Because his butt was slick and Derek could enter two fingers easily inside. 

“Fuck, Derek,” Stiles groaned. “Fuck me already, please.” 

Derek didn’t have time for this. He should take advantage of Stiles’ pliability now. 

But instead, Derek turned Stiles’ body around, yanked the rest of his pants down — Stiles didn’t bother to wear any underwears — and let himself sunk in slowly. 

Stiles let out a breathless moan as he threw his head back, rested it against Derek’s shoulder and Derek leaned in to bite his beautiful neck. 

“Perfect as always,” Stiles praised, though his voice trembled a little, made Derek thrusted a bit harder. 

Derek’s hands traveled on Stiles’ body. From his perky nipples and down to his abdomen until his fist was around Stiles’ cock. It was pink, so hard and leaking, and Derek stroke it with the same rhythm as his thrust against Stiles’ sweet spot. 

Stiles reached behind, found Derek’s hair and tugged on it. Derek loved it. 

Everything was so intense and with one right thrust, Stiles came all over Derek’s hand, and spluttered some on the wall as well. 

Derek stopped thrusting there. For a moment, what Derek could hear was their heavy breathing. 

Derek wouldn’t be deceived this time. 

Stiles always used the moment Derek couldn’t move after his orgasm to pull on something. And this time, Derek held himself back from coming because he needed to stay focus. He was ready to anticipate whatever Stiles was planning. He would put an end to this. 

When Stiles tried to turn around, Derek pinned his lithe body harder against the wall, kept him from any movements. 

“Ouch, Derek,” Stiles said, his voice a bit strangled. 

“You’re not going anywhere this time, Stiles,” he said firmly through his gritted teeth.

“Well, I thought so too since your hard cock is still inside me,” he answered cheerily as he wriggled his butt a little. 

Derek had to force himself not to moan. “Stop. Moving,” he said again, a bit harsher. 

Stiles laughed a little, and then he said, “Alright,” and stopped giving any struggles. 

Derek didn’t trust him immediately. But after a few moment Stiles stayed perfect still — something Derek didn’t think was possible — Derek finally pulled out from inside Stiles, and let him turned around. 

However, Stiles was looking at him with this smirk on his face that meant  _ trouble _ , and then he was kissing Derek so intensely Derek couldn’t even resist. 

He felt that Stiles was pushing something on Derek’s throat that wasn’t his tongue at all, but before he could spit out, he already felt so dizzy. 

And that was when Stiles pulled back. Still grinning his pretty grin. 

“What did you do,” Derek asked. Everything was getting blurry. He didn’t know since when he became the one who was pinned against the wall instead. 

“Kissed you,” Stiles answer, as he reached for Derek's still-hard-cock, and then he dropped to his knees. “And I’m gonna blow you to return the favor now.” 

Derek tried to say something, but the words couldn’t get out. He didn’t know what Stiles had put in him, but it made everything hazy, and the only thing he could focus on was Stiles’ mouth around his dick. 

And when Stiles started deepthroating him with no difficulties at all, he lost all control. The only thing kept him stayed up was Stiles’ hard grip on his hips. 

It didn’t take long for Derek to spill against Stiles’ throat as he was already on the edge from earlier, and he could feel his consciousness started to leave him. 

“No,” he mumbled. 

Stiles laughed softly and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll be around, Derek. Don’t miss me too much, okay?” 

He felt his body thump against the cold floor, and Stiles wiped the sweat and cum on his body, tucked him in and caressed his hair gently as he planted another kiss on his forehead. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you a call.” 

“Wait,” Derek tried to say, but his mouth refused to move, and then everything went black. 

* * *

On the next day, Derek received a dick pic from unknown number, that showed a very familiar dick with a very familiar hand holding the Knotted Dragon Pendant with a caption, “Which one do you think is prettier?”

And when Derek tried to trace the number, it was nonexistent. 

Great. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek couldn't let anyone else get close to Stiles. No one. At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, this universe got some plot after all.

“Fifteen months, Detective Hale.” 

Derek flinched a little but tried not to let it show. However, he wasn’t really sure it worked because Captain Ito looked at him with this disappointed expression even harder. That look, was way scarier than her glare. 

“I trust you with this case because you are my best detective, but you haven’t managed to catch Stiles in fifteen months. In fact, he slipped away from you eight times in those fifteen months.”

An intense pause that made Derek wanted to cower, and then, 

“It means he got away with more than ten millions worth of arts and other people assets.” 

Derek really didn’t know how to respond to that. 

“You’re out of this case, Hale. I’m going to assign Detective Mahealani to this.” 

That made Derek look up quickly. “But, Ma'am — ” 

Ito raised her hand at Derek. “You’ve been in this for too long. Take a break. Take care of other cases. I know you are still capable, but you’ve been in rut. And I need a fresh pair of eyes as well.” 

Derek opened his mouth, still wanted to argue, but nothing came out. Because Ito was right. He was in a rut. But Ito didn’t need to know that  _ he was rutting Stiles as well _ . That would be another disaster. 

“Don’t worry,” Ito added, her voice soften. “It happens to the best of us.” 

The dismissal tone was clear in her voice so Derek closed his mouth and nodded. “Ma’am,” he said, before he turned around and left the room. 

Well, at least she didn’t suspend him. He was still allowed to work. But not near Stiles. 

“Captain said that I’m taking over Stiles’ case.” 

Danny’s voice cut Derek’s train of thought. He looked at him on his desk and saw that he was smiling. 

“Can you send over some data about him? Wanna compare my notes,” he said again. 

Right. Danny was the one who would be near Stiles now. 

He would be the one who would try to catch Stiles. Follow his every movements. 

And maybe. Stiles would want to be  _ close _ with Danny now. 

Suddenly, Derek was filled with rage that he couldn’t really explain, made him hating Danny’s stupid smile and stupid dimples and stupid charming personality. 

Though, he nodded at the other detective and walked back to his desk. 

He couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t let Danny got too close to Stiles. 

That thought was kept being repeated in his head, and so, as he opened his folder with all the data he gathered about Stiles, he made a decision. 

He closed the folder, and sent a quick text to Danny. 

'All data will be in the archive room. Shelf number 317. Good luck.’ 

No data about Stiles was in the archive room. Because Derek kept it all. But Danny could have fun searching. 

'Thanks, man,’ Danny replied. 

Derek smirked and put his phone away. He wouldn’t let Danny get close to Stiles. 

At all.

* * *

Danny had been in charge for ten weeks and two days now — not that Derek was counting — and Stiles had done two acts in that range of time. 

He sent the warning letters diligently in the headquarter as usual — no one was able to figure out how he could sneak in and out so easily with so many securities — but each time, Ito kept Derek on desk duty. 

The first time, Derek was so mad he felt like trashing the whole office. But it wouldn’t do him any good. He managed to slow Danny in his investigation though. Sent him to wrong leads. Cut his computer cable when he was researching something about Stiles. Stole new stuff Danny actually managed to get. But it wasn’t enough. He needed to be on the crime scene if he wanted to keep Danny from meeting Stiles in person. 

He couldn’t do that when he was stuck on desk duty. Ito might think that she was doing him a favor, but  _ she was not _ . Clearly. 

Though, when Danny came back to headquarter a little bit after midnight that day, with tired expression and rubbed his face in frustration, Derek felt a bit relieved. 

Because he failed. And it didn’t look like he got close to Stiles at all. 

Derek didn’t know why he started to become this petty. 

The second time Stiles pulled an act, he waited in the headquarter with a little more patience than the first time.

Danny also came back empty handed. With even more frustrated expression. 

“I couldn’t even catch his shadow,” he grumbled. “I blinked and then the painting was gone. Just like that. I wonder how you even get close to him, Hale.” 

Derek tried so hard not to smirk smugly. 

And then, Stiles went completely silent for three months. No messages. No acts. No traces. Nothing. 

Danny looked terrible. He barely smiled anymore, and Derek would feel a little bit of sympathy if he wasn’t worried as hell. 

Stiles never went on a radio silence for more than two weeks. If he didn’t steal something, he would con someone. Or just leave prank messages in the headquarter, or teased Derek. But now? None of that. 

“Maybe he’s rich enough to retire now?” Kira suggested, patted Danny on his shoulder. 

Derek doubted it. Stiles looked like someone who did this for fun, and the money was just bonus. He would definitely do this until he was old. And he was only twenty three now — looked even younger though — he still had long way to go, a lot of stuff he hadn’t stolen and a lot of people he hadn’t conned. 

His phone vibrated, pulled Derek out of his thought as he dug his phone out out of his pocket. 

A call. 

From an unknown number. 

Derek stood from his desk so quickly and muttered, “Gonna smoke,” as an excuse as he walked out of the room, to more secluded place. 

Derek slid the answer button and right after the device was pressed to his ear, he heard, “Are you still a cop?” even before he managed to say anything. 

“Stiles,” Derek said instead, realized that his voice had too much feelings in it than his liking, but he didn’t bother to hide it. “Yes. I’m still a cop. They assign someone else to you because I failed to bring you in for too long.” 

Derek heard Stiles sighed. “I guess so. But nice to hear it confirmed. I’m so glad though, I don’t want to be the reason you lost your job, Detective.” Stiles purred the last word and Derek clenched his phone tighter. 

“Are you — are you okay though? You’ve been quiet,” Derek finally said before he chickened out. 

Stiles chuckled. Derek really wanted to hear that in person. Not through phone like this. 

“Worried about me? Flattering, Derek. You make me swoon,” he said. Derek could imagine his smug grin clearly. “I’m fine. Missing your cock inside me, though.” 

Derek choked on his own saliva and he could hear Stiles laughed. “I got a plan for us,” Stiles said again, and Derek was lying if his heart didn’t somersault when Stiles said 'us’. “You’ll hear back from me in few days. Nice talking to you, babe.” And Stiles hung up with loud smooching noises before Derek could even say anything back. 

Typical. 

Stiles was going radio silence again afterwards, and everyone in the department still wondered where the hell he was, while Derek was waiting, trying to be patient. 

Around five days after he got a phone call from Stiles and he had managed to wrap up a homicide case, Derek entered his apartment, tired. He only wanted to shower and pass out, decided to just forego eating until morning. He had closed the door behind him when he heard it. 

Movements. 

In his kitchen. 

Derek’s whole demeanor changed. He took cautious step deeper into his place, hand ready on his gun. 

He lived alone. He locked all the doors and windows before he went to work this morning. His security system didn’t alert him of any breaking and entering act. But someone was clearly stupid enough to break into a cop's house to —

Cook. 

Derek blinked. He stopped dead on the doorway of his kitchen. There was someone in there,  _ cooking _ . 

And that someone was obviously Stiles. 

“Hey, you’re home!” Stiles greeted so casually that left Derek dumbstruck, with gun still in his hand. “I made chicken parmesan for you. I didn’t poison it. Put your gun away and wash your hands, please. Then sit down so we can start dinner.” 

The view after him was so domestic. Stiles, wearing shirt — _ wait, was that Derek’s shirt? _ _ — _ and shorts, smiling at him while finishing cooking dinner. 

“Chop chop, Derek,” Stiles said again, startled Derek to move, and did as Stiles told him before. 

It wasn’t until three spoonful of Stiles’ chicken parmesan — he was a wonderful cook — Derek finally managed to ask, “Is this your plan for us? Cooking me dinner?” 

Stiles snorted and nudged Derek’s feet, but let his own feet rested against it afterwards. Derek didn’t mind it at all. “No, silly. Well, this is a plan for us too, nice dinner and sex after, but this is not what I meant the other day.” Stiles grinned at Derek. “My plan is to have you bring me in to your headquarter tomorrow morning after you manage to at least make me orgasm five times.”

Derek almost choked. “ _ What? _ ” 

“Five times is possible, right? Or — ” 

“No. Not that. You want me to  _ bring you in _ ?” 

“Oh, that,” Stiles said, shrugged nonchalantly. “Well. Yeah.” 

“Why.” 

Stiles took his time to answer. “I’m gonna answer that if you managed to get five orgasms out of me,” was what he said afterwards. 

Derek put his utensils down. “Then we better start now.” 

* * *

Touching Stiles again was great. Amazing even. He was still so reactive to Derek’s touch, and Derek took advantage of that. He mapped every inch of Stiles’ body with his lips, tongue and fingers, and Stiles’ moan got louder every time. 

And now, they didn’t need to be cautious. Because they were in Derek’s space; his kitchen counter, his couch, and then his bed. No need to worry about somebody walked in. 

Stiles looked prettier though, naked on his bed, sprawled as Derek ate him out. He really missed Stiles’ taste. 

Though in the end, five orgasms were too many. Stiles already passed out after his third, and Derek had no energy left as well, so he just curled against Stiles, pulled him closer, and slept. 

Questions could wait until tomorrow. 

* * *

Derek woke up that morning and a bit surprised to find Stiles still there, smiling up at him and greeted, “Morning,” as he pressed a kiss to Derek’s nose. 

They had another sex afterwards. 

And after they finally ate something and also had a huge amount of coffee, Derek remembered about their conversation last night.

“Just tell me why, Stiles. Or I won’t bring you anywhere outside my room,” Derek threatened, but Stiles only rolled his eyes. 

“Fine. Then I’m gonna go call your friend Detective Mahealani, I’m sure he will be glad to bring me — ” 

“ _ No _ ,” Derek growled, pinned Stiles against the nearest wall. 

Stiles had the audacity to grin wider. “Well, well. How possessive. I like it,” he said, and Derek quickly let him go. Stiles leaned closer on him instead though. 

“Just bring me in, Derek. Trust me in this, okay?” 

Stiles was looking at him right in his eyes, and Derek shouldn’t be surprised that he was indeed  _ trusting _ Stiles. Derek grunted, grabbed his keys and led Stiles out of his apartment. 

Derek was expecting Stiles to try to run away after they got in his car. But no. Stiles stayed put. Messing around with Derek’s radio though, but he was fine with it. Because Stiles knew a lot of songs and he loved to sing along with it. Derek loved Stiles’ voice. 

When Derek parked his car in the headquarter, he turned to Stiles once again, to ask him what he was about to do. “Are you sure about this?” 

Stiles chuckled. “Don’t worry, Derek,” he said, unfastened his seatbelt. “I asked, didn’t I? For you to bring me in?” 

He offered his arms to Derek and Derek realized he wanted to be handcuffed. Even though he knew very well that Stiles could get rid of the handcuff pretty easily — it happened before — Derek was still reluctant to lock it around Stiles’ wrists. He finally did though, and Stiles gave him a reassuring smile. 

“Just let me do the talking,” Stiles said again. 

Derek raised an eyebrow. “But — ”

“Ssh, Derek. Follow my lead.” 

Derek still looked skeptical, and Stiles rolled his eyes at him. “I asked for this,” he said again. “And I didn’t say anything to want to be in prison though, did I?” he added with a wink as he opened the car door and headed out. 

_ What _ . 

* * *

Stiles behaved. 

Everyone applaud when Derek came in with Stiles in tow. Danny even looked so damn happy. Derek put him in the interrogation room, and let Captain Ito handled everything. He kept an eye on Stiles though. 

And he grew even more and more worried every time. 

Because. Stiles admitted all the crime he did. The method. Play by play. Also where he kept the money afterwards. His plan was so detailed and it amazed Derek how smart he was. 

He told Ito that he was Derek managed to catch him in his safe house — which Derek didn’t even know it was existed — and he decided to give up. 

Ito came out afterward, with stern look on her face. “I told you to stay out of this case.” 

Derek gulped. “I’m sorry, Capt. I — ” 

“I should give you more time,” she cut him off and Derek blinked. “Good job, Detective Hale,” and then she left. 

Derek wanted to go inside the interrogation room to check on Stiles and to dig out whatever it was he was planning, because now, it didn’t look like Stiles could stay out of prison, but his colleagues already dragged him to the break room and congratulate him. Danny even hugged him. 

And he was still trying to figure out how to slip out of his colleagues’ impromptu party when the alarm blared loudly. 

Everyone went silent. 

And then a tick afterwards, Ito’s voice could be heard through the intercom. 

“Stiles got away. Everyone search the whole building. Immediately.”

* * *

Stiles managed to get rid of the handcuff, knocked out the two guards in front of the door, and then disappeared into thin air. 

And Derek received a simple message on his phone. 

“See you later at home, babe. What do you feel about body chocolate as dessert?” 

And Derek had to fight the urge to grin so hard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi to me in [tumblr](http://grettalks.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/grettalks)? :)

**Author's Note:**

> [Hel](http://grettalks.tumblr.com/) [lo? :)](https://twitter.com/grettalks)


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